So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
