i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
