Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
