That's intense
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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