I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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