Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize