so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
