Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
