Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
