At least make sure they are 18
Why
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
