Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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