If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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