I wish I could punch you in the face.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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