I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
