so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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