we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want to be your penis for a week.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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