No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
