i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
