woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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