I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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