YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
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