That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
