well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
