I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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