he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
