At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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