My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize