What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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