Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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