planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
