it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
