I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
