You're completely useless in the revolution.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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