You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
