I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
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You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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