just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
