just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
These tits shall not be calmed
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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