i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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