Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
wow bdsm is so cute
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
