saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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