Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
