I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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