I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
