dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
