I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
