So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
