it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize