I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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