I bet he comes in French.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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