i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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