Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize