Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
from now on my penis is your penis
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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