Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
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so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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