Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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