Quick, to the slutcave!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
