I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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