nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
