These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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