I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
