We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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