Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
