Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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