"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Randomize
