Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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