her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
