if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
