There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
