Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
