I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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