I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
