Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
